Friday, 29 March 2013

Letter to 20 year old me

You are an adult (sort of), you have a job (not a real one yet. but it gives you money to party), and you are single and ready to mingle (a lot). Regardless of which man you're with at the moment, you will always ALWAYS have your mind on one guy. You know which guy that is. He is NOT the one. do you hear me? Try not to ditch people for him, don't buy him presents, don't tell people you're with him, don't give him all of the control all of the time. He's just a guy. He might be smart, but he's also self centered and does not care about you. Also while were talking about it, don't buy ANY of those men gifts. You're already giving them a gift.... you don't need to spend money on them!

You are living a rather dangerous life right now, and don't even see it. So although you feel safe in your city, and nothing really bad happens to you (not by the time you are 29 at least), it's still better to try to be a BIT safer... too many close calls my friend.... also, some words of wisdom from 10 years into the future:
1. buy your own condoms. there's NO excuse!
2. Try to drink SOMETHING other than Rum and coke. variety is the spice of life!
3. Your big little sister.... Sushi is a great person. Get to know her better. She might need you one day.
4. The girls you are friends with right now are awesome. But only one will still be a major piece of your life in 10 years. And it's not the one you think. (Hint, you proposed to her once...)(@whoismich)

Ok, get back to the party. Don't worry you didn't miss a thing

p.s. For goodness sake, help your mother! and PLEASE be nice to your baby sister....


Monday, 18 March 2013

a letter to 13 year old me

Hey Sean (that's what they used to call me, and that's how I spelled it)

This is me (you) from 17 years into the future. I remember that at the age of 13, I had tried to picture what i'd look like at the age of 30. Trust me, you'd be surprised! I remember you'd always pictured something like a model from the Sears catalog, with a pastel suit and long hair. Very ... motherly looking. Well looking into the mirror right now, I have SHORT Halle Berry hair (the lady from the Flintstones movie) and have not had to wear a suit yet! But I do have cute sensible shoes.

Sweetheart. You are not a loser. You will find love (many times) you are also very pretty. One day, you'll  look back at yourself and wonder how you ever felt so badly of yourself. You will lose touch with almost everyone you talk to on a daily basis by the end of Jr.high, and you'll be fine with it. Some of the decisions you'll make in Jr. High, will actually shape who you are as an adult. So try to really open your mind to what the future may hold. You have a chip on your shoulder, and nobody knows why. It's because you have ADHD and you will not figure it out for a long time still. You should REALLY start paying better attention to your body. I mean, go to gym class... participate... you know... get moving. Because while right now, you have the best body EVER, it won't be that way in 11 years. So maybe learn now, how to get in shape.
Also, you are smart. Don't listen to those assholes. (oh yes, you start swearing in about 2 years :)) Not even that teacher who said to the new kid "don't sit next to her, she's dumb and it might rub off on you". He was a jerk and you have no idea what ever happened to him. Good riddance. All the boys you are "in love with" right now, are NOT the right guys for you. TRUST ME. :) Andrew is a normal person. Not a celebrity. Maybe try to talk to him. You might find out that he thinks he's a weirdo too. Paul: He's a weirdo. (ha) Martin: He's actually a great guy. You will become his friend in high school. so all the crap he does and says now, just let it go. He feels sorry for you, and will apologize when you're older. Those twins: who cares. In the real world, they do not matter. Their money can't change their personalities ... or faces. OOOH I just remembered one (kind of the big deal in your life right now...) Justin. hahahaaaa, so he's kind of a complete loser. You don't even find this out until your high school reunion. But it's ok because he also does not matter.

So my advice to you, 13 year old Chantale. (aka Sean, aka Da Bomb) just do you. but at the same time, help your mother out more often. Also maybe be nice to your baby sister.


Friday, 15 March 2013


So here's the story of how I met their Father....

I was 23, hot (literally and figuratively), drunk and ready for a party. (again, literally. It was rum slurpee day with one of my best friends!) (Rum Slurpee day is when you spend the day with your best friends, rum, and slushees/slurpees/icy's whatever your town has and wander the streets of downtown, getting to know strangers, and trying to find a public washroom that lets non-paying patrons use the facilities. Usually starting around 2pm)

So i'm at this club, which I wasn't in the mood to be at. And I slowly staggered over to the washrooms. Now at this particular place, the men folk liked to hang out, outside the washrooms (or maybe that's just the way night clubs work?) and i hear "HEY" and someone grabbed my arm. I honestly didn't see his face. So i just nodded in his general direction and kept walking/swaying/dancing. Once out of the loo, i'd already forgotten about this gentleman (haha) and was walking by him when he grabbed my arm again. So i normally would have been rude and said something like "that is NOT how to get a lady's attention" but he was wearing a red shirt. I'm a sucker for a man in a red shirt (i'm kidding. I was just too drunk to be rude) (but he was wearing a red shirt). So we talked for a while. By the time we'd left, i'd learned his name, his profession, where he was from and how long he'd been in Canada for. I had also forgotten EVERYTHING about him, except that he wears a red shirt. Apparently  i'd asked him over and over if he was a football player (warehouse worker), if he was American (Jamaican), said "so you've been in Canada for like a week?" a few times (living here since he was 11), and asked his name a LOT.

The next morning, I was out for brunch with my friends, and he called. Friend whispers "find out his name". I asked him (to his surprise). He answered "Jamal". FIRST OF ALL, that is not his name. Second of all, that's not what my caller ID said when he called, THIRD, he doesn't go by EITHER of those two names (caller ID name and/or Jamal)...anyhoo...So he says his name is Jamal (*snort*) and i try to mouth the name out to my friend. I also add in some amazing finger spelling. She goes "Triangle?" I said out loud "yes, his name is Triangle" So we called him that for a few months. Turns out he really didn't like that...Now I just call him Fox. :)

And that my friends, is how I met their Father.


Thursday, 14 March 2013

Letter to 15 year old me

SEAN (yup, I still went by this name. Also, at this point my friends were calling the house asking for Sean.)

You are having fun eh? 15, boys boys boys. also, soon enough sex sex sex. My advice here? YOU GO GIRL! hahahaa some people might say that is not a good thing to say to a 15 year old girl. BUT when i look back at my sexual history, I wouldn't change a thing (well maybe one or two things... ha)
This year is a big one, in that you finally decide where you'll fit in, in the world. The middle. You PROBABLY should try harder in school though. Because failing or almost failing, although you do it so well and entertainingly, is not cool. You have your whole life to go out and party (just ask 20 year old you) (from 20 year old you: It's true girl! you will just LOVE Rum! oooh gotta go! it's rum time!). I wish that you took gym class more seriously  although the way you handled it this year, was pretty funny! You REALLY will regret skipping out and ACTUALLY passing gym class with a 51% average. Of course telling you this, before you get there, might only make it funnier to you... hmmmm Well, the men in your life at 15 are just awful. The one who'll take away your innocence, does not know his way around a lady! when you get a chance, look up the word Clitoris, learn what it is, how to handle it, and teach him!!! I can't believe I didn't know what that word (or body part) was until I was 19!!! How sad!!!! One warning for you though. when you turn 16, you'll quickly discover how mean the world is. Friends will be physically and emotionally damaged by the bad people in the world. It will take away all that is left of your innocence. So just stay strong and keep smiling. You are about to start an exciting time in your life, and you are going to make some ridiculous mistakes. But that's life!

p.s. Help your mother out!!!, and maybe be nice to your a baby sister...


Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Stuff my kids say

My girls are ages 2 and 4. They are pretty darn funny (if you ask me...). Here are some of the ridiculous things that have come out of their mouths:

Diva: Ok Girl! (talking to me)

Diva: (singing call me maybe) mmmmmmm MET YOU... mmmm THIS IS CRAZY... had a nomo, call me maybe.

Nana: (after leaving my sisters house, who just had a baby) Mama, Nana want baby.
Me: You want a baby? why?
Nana: I love baby! grandma have baby?
Me: No baby, Grandma is too old to have any more babies
Nana: NO FAIR!
Me: I know honey
Nana: Nana want bite baby
Me: what? you want to bite a baby?
Nana: NO, Bye Bite!
Nana: Mommy buy da baby. at superstore. For Grandma!
Me:OH MY! I don't think she wants a baby though...
Nana: Mama bite da baby for mama!!

um..... you think she wants to have more babies around?


Monday, 11 March 2013

Updates and randoms

My sister had her baby boy yesterday! i'm so excited to meet him! i'll see them tonight. So with her permission  i'll put one picture of him on here :) he's got a huge family who can't wait to watch him grow up :)

I've gotten off track of my organizing. But since my home is so cluttered and stressful, so this week, i'll try to get back into that. I was doing soooo good! I still have a calendar to follow, so i'll put it back on the fridge and get to work!!!!
I believe this week is about organizing contact lists and passwords

i'm listening to Brian McKnight songs all day. SO relaxing! :)


Friday, 8 March 2013


I was just having a conversation with my BFF about baby fever. My younger sister is about to pop (any time now. She's due on Sunday, and it's her third boy). I had mentioned to her that all this week, I've had baby fever BAD and have finally gotten over it.  (I swear, really, i'd have to buy a house, a new car, and figure out childcare all over again. Nope! not gonna happen!!)

But it got me thinking. Why? Why do we get baby fever even after we've gone through it? BFF said she's never understood, because when she holds someones kid, she always wants to give them back. :) Well my friend. Here are the reasons why I caught the fever.

1. The excitement. I tend to get caught up in the moment... a lot. I even go over board... maybe *cough*... So, of course, i'd get a little excited if I've missed aunt flo (ew. the menses? oh all right, i'll just call it what it is, the worst time of the month :P). (or if I haven't and it's still a week before it's due, and I pee on le stick anyway. Sometimes, you just KNOW). There's so many exciting things that pop up in the 9 month period! From peeing on the stick, to the first ultrasound, feeling the baby move for the first (20) times, buying your first baby things, every Dr appt. and counting down online, the baby shower, naming the baby, then when you think it might be time. ALL OF IT. 

2. The SMELL. No, not the poop smell (@whoismich) the new-fresh-out the oven- johnson&johnson-my sweat mixed with her sweat- smell. GAH. I NEED A HIT. OK, i'm OK.

3. All the things you're "gonna do differently the next time around"  bwahahahaaaa with my first, I was so scared and so naive. I really wished future me could have come and held my hand and assured me of all the decisions i'd had to make. The second time around, it ended with me wishing I could do the labor differently. To just TRY to stick it out a bit longer with no drugs... So of course, you always want to one-up yourself right? 

4. Maybe having a boy. I'd love to see what a boy Fox would look like :) maybe one day. When i'm better off financially, and we have a house. and i'm still under 35. If all those things happen, look out world, i'ma do it again! 

5. And finally, my girls. Diva and Nana. they are delicious and sassy, and beautiful and wonderful and crazy. How could you NOT want more of them? 


Thursday, 7 March 2013

a poem for jerks

The first poem I've ever written was in the 8th grade.My baby sister says it's her favorite one. I can understand why. She was only 3 and there was a swear in it.  :) I ACTUALLY handed it in as an assignment in the 12th grade. The teacher told me to come see her after class. She was MAD at me. She said it was so unnecessary and rude and she want's to give me a 0 on that poem. I told her, i thought it was a ballsy artistic expression and I think it deserves to be heard.
I got a 0.

The Goat

Lights fill up my room
the spaceship flies away
they've taken everything
there's nobody left on earth but me
and a goat
and an umbrella
I'm scared
He's staring at me
eyes running up my thighs
I do not want to fuck a goat


Monday, 4 March 2013

Love/Hate letters

Dearest pinterest,

I am beginning to feel like i'm in a one sided relationship. You make me feel insignificant, unorganized, and lazy. Why do you not have an instant button? One where I can click it, and it shows up in real life, instantly. (my closet would be so much fun! and probably in Narnia, because my little rack cannot hold much more...)

My home is never going to look rustic modern. I simply do not have millions of dollars at my dispense to throw about new and amazing (AH MAIZE ING!) ideas that you tease me with on a daily basis. Oh how I WISH i could have that giant teal ottoman.

My kids are probably not going to have a learning center in our basement, a treehouse in the backyard, a self cleaning pool/pond or a huge chalkboard fence.There are so many reasons as to why. Mostly because I do not have a basement...or a yard. But If I did... let me tell ya!

My pantry does not look very pretty. But it holds cans and crap. Is that not enough pinterest? Do i REALLY have to have baskets found at a flea market, covered in modge podged vintage pictures of my grandmother, with laminated labels on the front of them that reads "pasta"?

I cannot sew, cook, garden, or craft. I had a bamboo plant once... it died.

So I think we need to have a web site for the normal people. I will call it... JUST KIDDING.


Sunday, 3 March 2013

The weather is NOT nice over here

I knew it was going to snow.
I didn't hear the winter storm warnings until AFTER I posted yesterday. I can't be surprised... We do live 60 minutes from the mountains! This is the view of the mountains from our lovely city (not today. there's no effing way we'd see them today!)

Here is the view from our apartment this afternoon:

Soooo there's that. LOL
Who wants to go hot tubbing!?


Saturday, 2 March 2013

The weather is nice over here

It's March.
What does that mean here in Canada? Well, in southern Alberta, we get the Chinook. That means that the skies are warmer, the ground is still cold, people start wearing shorts (even if it's snowing, i'll never get those people) and the wind is a blowing. BUT we Calgarians LOVE a Chinook  We all become meteorologists when we see the clouds form an arch above the mountains to the west of us, and we start putting away the heavy boots. (well, not really. it ALWAYS snows in March. I know this for two reasons for sure. 1. it's supposed to snow this Sunday, and 2. there's always snow on the ground on my birthday.) and bring out the ballet flats (again, kidding, we wear those all year long too.)
SO in honor of the season i like to call pre-spring, I will open a window in my apartment today. Just for a few minutes. Don't want the kids to think it's time to ditch the coats and hats just yet!

(for those of you who find this picture a bit gloomy, trust me, it's wonderful)


Friday, 1 March 2013

Say I'm a bird

So, sometimes i'm not cute and funny. I also can write dark poetry:

A cage
With no walls
But a revolving door
A cage made up of words
A perch full of dust
Hair all over the floor

A bird who sits outside
Singing to passerby’s
With wings so long
They sometimes block the sun
A bird whose song is so beautiful
Only God can hear
Sits outside her cage and never
Flies away