Monday, 26 August 2013

Sweet as spice(ed pumpkin latte)

I have been bitching a lot on here lately. So today (a Monday even!), i'm going to say only nice things:)

It's almost fall ya'll! YAY!! That's my favourite season for so many reasons. One being, I hate summer clothes. HATE them. Something about tube tops, flip flops, and shorty short, that make me want to vomit. BLEH. BUT a soft cable knit sweater over leggings? Oh yes please! I love scarfs and boots, and hot chocolate and pumpkins spiced things! I love taking pictures in front of yellow and orange (and the rare red) leaves falling off the trees. GAH I need a hit! I love snuggling in the colder months. In the summer, I often wonder how we have spring/summer babies, because the idea of being that hot, and that close to another person, sounds awful (haha sorry Foxxy. I did snuggle you this summer though!!)(also i mean "WE" as the human race. lol My babies were both born in the dead of winter... )

I miss being a kid and jumping in the leaves. Now I'll just hit the ground. lol I miss picking out Halloween costumes way too early, and being excited about it for almost 2 whole months. I get to do that now, with my girls, but the excitement isn't as high anymore.

OOOH one thing i plan on doing with my kids for the first time EVER IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE is going to the corn maze. That sounds like fun! There's two in my city (outside my city really) and I can't wait to take the girls. Of course they hate the outdoors, and ... crowds and ...and animals (petting zoo)... and bouncy castles (I KNOW right?? what kid hates that???) BUT i'm going to take them, and they are going to like it damn it!

now I want a pumpkin spice latte... DAMN IT! (don't worry Crys, i'll make them low cal, fun free crap this year. LOL no more extra fat and extra sugar for my fat ass!). I also want a sweater. A large one! that goes down to my knees!! yeah! and .... BOOTS. sad face. i'm broke. lol

Carry on with your end of summer ... stuff! (i have no idea what normal people do in the summer... I don't do lakes, or camping, or... outside... I wonder where my kids get it from! HAHA)

Friday, 23 August 2013

Picture day Friday

I think it would be nice to have some sort of routine on my blog (see, i'm all about routines now!) So i'm going to try (TRY) Friday picture day.
aaaaand GO

BFF and I at the Macklemore concert



She was smacking her horse...

my mommy did their hair. i'm not capable of doing this

Punk would not sit still!

Me and Nana

Nana in time out. lol oh the shame

This is how we spent the last night together before they went camping

My newest nephew. Awwwwww

The formerly newest nephew, until the newest nephew came ...

My fave pic of the summer so far. Diva, Nana, Chin Chin and my sisters neck and arm

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Mother Furkin Routines

So here we are, like what... 2 weeks later? AND MY DAY LOOKS THE SAME. Except, this week, Fox is home with the kids. So i get 1 hour of blissful sleep extra. WEEEEEE!
Except today. Because Diva was BACK in our bed, and kicking the shiz out of me, and I woke up at 4 am with a horrible coughing fit....

I am getting nervous here people. Diva is starting kindergarten in 14 days (WOAH putting it in days is even scarier!) And over the weekend, i discovered (thanks to my always punctual sister) that i'll have to actually FEED the kids in the morning before taking them to my mothers house. HOLY CRAP. That just made my super rushed mornings WAY more tense. WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO!???

Ok. step one. Calm the frick down.
Step two. Think of a breakfast food list. Stuff the kids will love and will always eat and is quick and easy. So... looks like they'll be eating nutella sandwiches until college!
Step three. ... i got nothing. Oh wait ... PLAN the morning out, like with times and shit. This is where I mess up. Because in real life right now, I set my alarm for 5 am... hit snooze about 4 times (9 minutes in between each time) and then zombie walk to the shower. Get the kids up at 6, then run around like a decapitated chicken until almost 7 when i realize my kids are still naked and crying and where did the time go!!! i don't even have that much hair, so i'm not spending my time doing that, i hardly ever wear makeup (ever) so it's not that. I eat in my car... so that's not it. I HAVE NO IDEA YOU GUYS!

OK, i need to calm down again. In... out.....

I'm back.
Ok, so what my (perfect) sister suggested I do, is get up at 5, like ACTUALLY get up at 5. Get myself showered and done, then get the kids up, and since I won't have to leave the room to finish getting ready, i'll be able to put all of my focus on them. Get them up and feed them, and while they are eating, get out their clothes. Put on a timer, so they know that once it goes off, it's time to go. Since I know it won't work for the first few days (my kids are not morning people. or good eaters) I'll pack a snack in Diva's backpack. for WHEN she's starving later in the morning. Brush hair while they are eating ... alarm probably at 6:30 (30 minutes to eat is good right?) make them get dressed (thank GOD for uniforms), and LEAVE AT 7 am (not 7:20 like it has been...)
Well, that's it. I'll start on Monday. There's no point in getting them up early this week, since they are home with Fox. So that gives us one week, for the morning routine to stick... God help us.

Monday, 19 August 2013

Today is brought to you by the letter "S" 
"S" is for: 
sleep deprivation 
Songza at work
Stupid drivers who try to run you off the highway
Selfish husbands who ruin their families lives (not mine. remember, i'm not married... lol)
Sugar in my coffee (mmmm coffee)
S names (Diva and Nana both have S names, so does Fox)(I don't...)
sleep deprivation. I just thought i'd round it out and end at the beginning.

Thursday, 15 August 2013

Bitch or well meaning idiot

I'm kind of a Bitch. (notice how I capitalized that one...)

I don't realize it right away, until I see the look of slight horror that comes across my victims faces.
For those who have had the pleasure of meeting me (haha) I giggle A LOT and I hug A LOT and I drink A L... well socially. :) But then every once in a while, I just say what comes to my mind... and by that, I mean every time I speak with humans. My sisters and cousins all grew up with me, and they always laugh and tell me how funny it is. But those who didn't grow up with me, and never knew I was ever a shy kid who hid in her room during her OWN birthday parties... would just think I was an ass.

I can pin point the few times growing up, that got the bitch ball rolling.

1. When I was around 13. My little cousin had her first co-ed birthday party. My sole mission that day was to tell the little pricks, that I'll be watching them. Cause NOBODY messes with my little cousin. I remember at one point, one of the little pricks, said something to me, and well i sat on his head for the rest of the party.( not the good kind, come one I was just a punk kid!). I felt the power. I felt that he was scared of me (and possibly scared to talk to my cousin ever again...) and I wanted more.

2. When I was in my early 20's, I dated this guy who was so cute, I actually had NO comebacks. I only required said comebacks, because my baby sister would follow me around calling me names all the time. So the two of them would laugh at me, and I would be like "whatever, i'm to grown for this crap" then we'd go back to making out (me and the hot guy, not my sister... ) But after he'd go home, I sit there thinking about how embarrassing that was, and came up with all the good comebacks that betrayed me earlier.

Now that i'm 30, I really don't care who I offend. I probably SHOULD, but I don't. I've caused a few problems though. Like, fighting with my Aunt once, because she just assumed I was driving her home. I was going to, but by the time I decided that, she'd already stormed away. But in my defense, she didn't even ASK. she just started putting her shopping bags into my trunk...
My sister was talking with her daughter's grandmother and she had asked how her sister was doing. She said "which sister?" g-ma answered "the one who likes me". ... Yeah, not me, the other one. And that's fine I don't care, but I didn't realize how transparent I was. THEN Fox and I were talking the other day, and he said I should be more aware of the vibes I put off towards others. He said "you can be intimidating and come across as a bitch sometimes". I felt a little bad. Not bad enough to ... apologize to anyone. But bad enough to question the friends he keeps. Man are they ever a punch of pansies! (HAHAHA Kidding! you guys are all awesome. Except Dwight. I can't STAND that guy...)
Yesterday, I was eating lunch, and my co-worker came in and said she had homemade rhubarb jam in the fridge if I was interested. What I SHOULD have said was "ok, cool! sounds good!" What I REALLY said was "oh, ummm, I don't like Jam, sorry. I like fruit, but not cooked fruit or mashed fruit of any kind ...But look at you all martha homemade-y!" and she gave me the look of a punch in the gut mixed with "i'll never speak to you again".. It got me thinking. Why is everyone so damn sensitive!? Also, why couldn't I just shut up?

I could tell stories for DAYs about the stupid shit I've said to people. But i'll save that for another time. (once I collect a good amount of stories ovbs). I could say that i'm posting this, so that I can make a change in my life. But I know that's not going to happen. Watch, i'll start swallowing my pride, keeping in my opinions, and next thing you know i'm just sitting all quiet, when the people I love are ruining their lives, or buying the wrong dress for their figure, or some jerk is rude to a cashier. Then what? all the things that should be said are not, and then jerks are out there thinking it's cool to throw stuff at restaurant staff, or i'm forced to choke down homemade mushed fruit! I CAN'T BEAR THE THOUGHT! but I will leave you with this (always wanted to say that)

If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all. Which is actually a double negative, so I take that to mean, say whatever you like, just giggle when you're done!

Wednesday, 14 August 2013

30 days of torture

I hate my body. It's not particularly HORRID, but it's nowhere near where it could or should be. I'm 5'6'', 163 Lbs. I used to be 120 lbs. ... holy crap that was 13 years ago hahaha wow. ok, so before I had Diva, I was 153lbs. So I've only gained 10, i n 4 years. ANYWAYS, Body = bleh. :)

My best friend is a workout.. crazy person. She is probably reading this, WHILE working out. Who knows. Her idea of a lazy day is ONLY going for one run... for an hour. HAHA My lazy day, is not getting out of bed. And If you ever see me running for an hour, i'm on drugs. or being chased by a zombie. So you should probably run too...

But even though girl is crazy, and I am lazy, she motivates me every once in a while (very sporadically), to get my ass off the couch, and go breath fresh air.

Usually I whine when someone suggests squats... until they give up and give me something else to do. But this time, i'm making MYSELF do them. I found a 30 days of squats challenge on Pinterest. I'm on day 6 right now! On the first day, it was 30 squats. today it was 90. By the end, I expect myself to do 175 squats.

I'm not TOO worried... haa haaa ok a little. BUT I expect results. I told myself to do this, so that I  can say I've challenged myself. Who knows, next month I might find an abs challenge. :)

I'm not giving myself a treat at the end of this. Because I need to learn to appreciate being healthy for what it is, not for any prize at the end. This time, my prize will be a tighter behind. :)

For anyone who is interested here is the blog that has the squats challenge:

Monday, 12 August 2013

miss a little... miss nothing at all

So as the title says... ya missed nothing! ha
I've just been working, and being a mom. And sat down. TWICE  lol

As previously mentioned, i'm trying to fix our routines, so I don't become scary mommy (as often...).
So far... it's KIND OF working.

I've only been working on morning and night routines so far. And we've gotten into the habit of reading bedtime stories every night. Which has made a HUGE difference. It's been the difference between going to bed frazzled and going to bed, with a quiet mind. So that's awesome. Mornings. are still kind of crap. But I've also been able to keep myself calmer. So that's good. I've made extra effort to keep a smile on my face and to keep my breathing slow and steady when i'm getting frustrated with the girls. Because they don't have a concept of time yet. How can I expect them to know what being late for work REALLY means. If i'm late, it's my issue, and my fault. So I am trying to not take that out on the girls. :)

Bath time is the next step. YIKES.
Diva has never been good with bath time. I'm not sure if it's something i'm doing wrong, or if it's her. I know lots of kids hate water in their face. But she is hysterical every time a DROP of water hits her face. So it's frustrating to wash her hair (or face for that freaking matter). Yesterday was no exception. She screamed at me when I told her it was time to wash up. So after dealing with an uncontrollable 4 year old who was starting to hyperventilate before I even put soap on her wash cloth... .I just took her out, and got her dressed. No washing. No soap, Not one hair got wet. And I was fine with it. I was calm. I didn't say anything i might regret later. I just said "ok, we'll try this again tomorrow"
So we'll see how she does when Fox is there to lend a manly voice. Or to do the washing part :)
I've tried so many things over the past few years, to get bath time to be a calm part of our day. But no matter how many toys, or bath bombs, or food colouring I use, she still FREAKS out when it comes to washing up. I've tried getting her to wash herself, I've tried laying her down in the tub, having her cover her ears while I wash (which worked until we started swim class last month), I've tried having her sit up, and me pour the water down her back. I've tried having her in the shower with me, I've tried letting her dip her hair into the water. I've tried all of it. I have NO CLUE how to keep her calm in the tub.
So if my comments section is working for you (hit and miss), please let me know any suggestions you might have! And i'll spend my busy *ahem* work day looking things up too :)


Tuesday, 6 August 2013

horrible mommy

Sometimes you love your kids more than you love the air you breathe. Sometimes you hate them.

Hate might sound like a harsh word for some. But for me, it's real. Of course I don't ACTUALLY hate my kids. But in some moments, i kinda do.

This weekend was a great family weekend. We did all things free and cheap (¢75 hotdogs at IKEA for dinner anyone?) and it was great. We went to an amusement park (we have season passes so... free! Not including the stupid games Fox just had to play... idiot), and I was amazed at how big my girls are getting. Going on bigger, faster rides, not crying all the time... It was great.

But then yesterday happened. And I LOST IT. I lost my cool mom, family weekend of fun award. I stayed home with the girls, to clean. It wasn't a very nice day out, so I didn't feel bad about having a movie day. Plus I had spent the whole weekend out (long weekend) and now I had to clean and cook and get ready for the week.

The kids went stir crazy. They made me upset. They tore the apartment apart. They wore bathing suits all day (which I have to admit is kinda cute). They made tents with the furniture (which is super fun), then jumped off the couch onto their tents.... (starting to get annoying after repeatedly telling them not to jump off the furniture) and then refused to eat and instead threw awesome tantrums and stomped on their food on the floor (after mopping.) They dumped ALL of the toys onto the floor. They put dirty clothes with the clean clothes (which isn't so bad, except it was from pee accidents...), they screamed, they bounced the basketball in the house, they picked movies, and fought over it, they fought over everything... they screamed and bit and spit and threw.

My day sucked. And I yelled. And I hid in the bedroom during one tantrum, and had one of my own. I cried and prayed that I was doing a good enough job. That i'm not screwing my kids up ... to much. But then I went back into the crap day, and kept going. Cooking and cleaning (i mopped 3 times by the end of the day).

At the end of the day. Fox came home. And saw how close to climbing the walls I was. And took care of everything.

And let me cry.

And I felt better.

And he's wonderful.

I hope he knows that

at Vicotrias Secret