Small victories pt. 2

As a fun idea given to me by The Bloggess, I will keep reminding myself that i'm doing alright.

Small victories this week:

- I lost 5 lbs in September!! Bitches!! hahaaaaaaaa  (yes i know that didn't happen THIS week... but shut up... small victories ya'll!)
- I came back to work and got shiz done
- I might have applied for a temporary job at my dream office...  :P
-Bought a new dinning table. This was a big deal for me. The one before, was a high bar style table, and Nana had fallen off last year (Januaryish) and broke her collar bone ( I know!! my little Nana!!) (BROKEN) So this one is low and I got a bench and the kids have eaten ALL their meals there...
- The kids are eating at the table instead of the couch!!(yes i'm a bad mom. we barely ever ate together... But we do now!)
- I've grown a back bone and my kids no longer watch TV until they finish whatever meal it is that I want them to eat! Also, if they are rude or don't stay in their chairs or generally suck, the TV stays off. ALL DAY. i'm growing up ya'll! ha


The point is, even if I accomplish nothing today, I didn't eat anyone.  That is a win.  For everyone.     ~ Jenny Lawson- aka. The Bloggess

Candy

I haven't written in 2 weeks! So sorry! haha yeah, like anyone out there cares...
ANYWAY

I only took 2 weeks off from work, to help my mom out. So I'm back at work and my brain is back .. working. Sorta! Oh, and the title is only because the only thing I've done this whole time, is play candy crush. LOL

So how are you?

Diva had her school pics while we were taking a break from each other (me from you really). I will post a pic when I get them back from the school.

So... do you like stuff?

Wow, my brain is not really working is it?

I think I'll use this for research, for when I go for a phsyc evaluation.... (I'm not kidding. I go for one next Monday!)

You see, my brain goes for weeks, where I think very clearly and I'm happy, and I feel almost invincible (well not really, but I feel like I can handle life pretty good...), then all of a sudden, the ol brainy starts to fog over. And it's like a cloud over me, and I can't think straight and I get depressed and/or anxious (like scared to leave the house anxious). Then there's times like now... my brain has been very clear for the past few weeks but I've had depressing thoughts. Like I'll be in the shower, and I'll hear a noise and assume it's my family being attacked by zombies (Obviously...). But since I'm not depressed or anxious, I kind of shrug it off and think "well if they're gone, I'll deal with it after I get this shampoo out" instead of 3 weeks ago me, who would have actually turned off the water, getting sting-y shampoo in my eyes, and yell out to see if they can hear me.

Does that make me sound nuts? Maybe. Do I care? 3 weeks ago me, might have cared ... but today i'm calm on the inside (such a nice feeling!!! actually it's been 5 years since I've felt THIS calm for THIS long. YAY ME). So, the world is kinda rosy (even though it's really all black and tarnished and we are all totally  doomed)

I wonder though, what does it all mean? That I'm really fine? That I might end up locked up like Amanda Bynes? (God I hope not. I need my kids probably more than they need me) Is it a magical vitamin concoction? (I take roughly 6-8 different vitamins a day. ranging from multi vit, to biotin for hair growth)

I have no idea. But what I do know, is that over the course of typing this post, my brain stopped a fog over! and I think the words that came out of my head, made some sense. I think

Friday the 13th

I have no cute pictures for my Friday, picture day. So i'll just tell you about my crap morning instead. You'll have to use your imaginations...

Got up early (ie. on time) today. So I got to take a nice long hot shower and then walk around and let myself air dry. I got Diva up, and went to the kitchen to get her some warm milk (a habit neither of us can break yet, yes I know she's almost 5). While in the kitchen, i noticed i had no clean kids cups. So i emptied the clean dishwasher, and started filling it, so i can have an empty sink... Somewhere between my fantasy of shopping alone, and having a coffee on the way to work, I dumped a large plastic bowl FULL of dirty... (and what i'll call) spaghetti water. BLEH. it was a mixture of last nights' supper and two days ago tupperware residue... that was left soaking in a bowl... ALL OVER MYSELF AND THE KITCHEN FLOOR. So my off to a good start morning, ended up with me mopping... then rushing. Went to the bathroom, and dumped an entire box of Q-tips on the recently showered in (ie. wet) bathroom floor. WHUCK

Fast forward to the major rush of not getting my kids dressed, (Diva also didn't finish eating again) and out ot the car. I'm driving on the highway, where the speed limit is 100km/hr. (62m/her) and the dummy in front of me was doing 80 (49m), with nobody in front of him. I got up pretty close, because I was late, and already grumpy. Do you know what this fool did??? He picked his nose, and FLICKED it at my car! I could have hit him! if it weren't for my kids being there... lol wow he's one lucky dirty sommma btich lol BLEH now that i'm remembering all this, I need to wash my hands. Just cause.


TGIF YA'LL

Whine/wine Wednesday

Hey ya'll. I need supernanny.
My 4 year old Diva is REALLY living up to her name these days. Today, she screamed at me and my mother for 30 minutes. She didn't want to get dressed or eat or go to school. She was spitting and hitting and kicking and throwing her crap clothes. Kid ended up going to school with the worst case o bed head, and only 2 bites of a nutella sandwich in her. I know it's ok for that to happen once in a while. She needs to learn her lesson. But what else can I do? I've been setting her clothes out the night before, getting school bag ready, making my lunch the night before... etc

I wish I knew how to get her to listen and NOT scream at me. The little one is watching and wants to be just like her awful sister. I'm going to scour the interwebs and the parenting books I already have at home. I'm entering a new level of child crap. Before,  in the toddler years I was stressed... i'll laugh at those now! 2 year old who doesn't want to pick up her toys? hahahaa pretend to take the toys to the garbage! (of course, Nana loves throwing away toys sometimes... which is ok too!), 2 year old who wants to "do it myself!" ...fine. We'll be late, but at least it's taking a task off my list... BUT  a 4 year old who suddenly forgets how to put on her socks? then throws them upon the farce? Come on!!! A 4 year old who wants to wear a fluffy UGLY princess dress to school, where she had to wear a uniform?? As much as i'd like to say, i talked in a low soothing tone and said "oh sweety, you know you have to wear a uniform to school, and you can wear whatever you like afterwards... come on honey, let's go put that back in the dress up box, and get you to school on time"... I must say it was more like... (in a loving... yelling tone) "what the heck are you doing? I told you 30 minutes ago to get dressed!! where is your sandwich? OH MY GOD get your sandwich off the .. you're stepping on it!! Put something ON! and we will deal with you at your Mimi's" (That's what my kids call my mom) and then we grabbed everything and shoved it onto the stroller and ran the eff out of there.

SO i'm putting this out there. HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME
I know that kids will be kids, and they are just innocent and going through life with NO direction yet (hell I don't even know what i'm doing still), and are just trying to be happy and free (good luck with that kids! hhahahahaaaaa) so i really should give my girl some slack. BUT HOW???
Can someone out there actually help me? I need to know how to handle her new attitude, I need to figure out what i'm doing wrong, I need to learn how to discipline properly, and how to be calm. If anyone is friends with Jo Frost (Supernanny), and can ship her up to Canada (also not charge us), I have 3 families who'd do great with her help! (i'm not kidding by the way...)
Here, take a look at pics of my kids and sisters kids, being awesome...

you can't hear it, but she's about to scream because a dog ran under the tramp

I told my niece to dance because her brother was coming soon (being birthed...)

And that's the last time she had noodle soup...

THEY DON' T STAND STILL

Ghost blanket hug

STOP TORTURING THE NEW ONE!

Small Victories

One of my favourite blogs to read is The Bloggess
The other day she wrote something very honest. And followed it up with something else very honest. We all tend to be too hard on ourselves and it starts the depression spiral (maybe not all of us, but either way, we spiral. Either into depression, or towards food, or .. not... food. whatever your crutch may be) And it inspired me to start celebrating the small victories, instead of berating myself for all the shit I do wrong.(And let me tell you, I do MOST shit wrong. I'm pretty sure I even shit wrong.)

So here is my list of small victories today! YAY ME!

-Today, I got out of the house without yelling at my kids
-I finished my 30 day squat challenge yesterday and I hurt
-I jumped on a trampoline on Saturday and played in a gym with 15+ kids. And only peed my pants a little ... ok a lot.
-I also did two flips on the tramps! (trampolines...not tramps as in whores)
-I didn't buy anything unnecessary at the grocery store last night
-I didn't eat a doughnut today
- We cleaned out our storage unit after it being full for NO REASON for 5 years... YAY!! SO MUCH ROOM FOR ACTIVITIES!

SEE ? Small victories all around!
(Also, I can't type the word victories... I keep typing Vico Tires... ?)

And as as my favourite Bloggess always says (well she does now...) :
The point is, even if I accomplish nothing today, I didn't eat anyone.  That is a win.  For everyone.     ~ Jenny Lawson- aka. The Bloggess

Picture day Sept 9

Here are some pics from my phone! (not all from this week, I already used those on back to school day. )

Please ... To enjoy!
(Yes i know I said i'd do this on Fridays, but I forgot! so... shut it!)

Birthday boy being pushed in a barrel

Foam Pit!

Diva

Nana

Le best friend. SO STRONG

She's so strong! I fell off that!

i'm slow, and climbed over instead of jumping

my cousin J 

Nephew Lub Lub 

Cool action shot!

so gracefully, i fell in

Fox is super great at jumping

Lub was sad, he dropped his cupcake

I told birthday boy to make am "i'm 7" face... see below

He's 7

He hit himself in the head with the balloon. HAHAHAA

the next group of trouble makers.aka. the 2 person gang

the collective awwwwww

As most kids in the world did, my baby girl went to school yesterday. It was her first day of kindergarten, and i'm pretty sure I was more nervous than she was. She was excited, but not jump out of your pants excited. I was. But that's probably because I know what lies ahead for her.In the years to come, she'll make friends, and enemies, love boys then hate boys, love a subject in class, and hate another subject.(I loved English class, and hated Math.... still do). SHE HAS NO IDEA. And it all starts with the first day of Kindergarten.

On my first day (picture this in either black and white, or sepia. I prefer sepia), the teacher told us all about stuff, like where the washrooms are, and where to sit on the carpet, that our parents hadn't abandoned us, and they'll be back in 3 hours. Then she asked if anyone has any questions. My hand shot up real fast, because I didn't want anyone else to ask my important question before I did. I was SO proud of my question. She turned and said "Oui Chantale?" (oh yeah, all french school) and I stood up and asked "Why is the sky blue" The whole class started laughing. Including the teacher (who's answer was something along the lines of "i don't know, but we'll learn a lot of other things this year") I was SO disappointed. I had to go home and look it up in the encyclopedia... well ask my mom to do it for me.

Now i'm no dummy (except in math. and just thinking about it is making me hyperventilate), so I know that EVERYONE thinks their kid is the cutest, and they are proud to show off pictures of their kids. I usually feel silly showing off my kids, because everyone does it and lots of people get annoyed . I saw on facebook yesterday an acquaintance talked about seeing too many back to school kid pics and said he'll come back tomorrow. I felt a sting.
BUT this is my blog! SO PLEASE, TO ENJOY! (after dropping off her sister, me and the Nana went to a new park.)

Diva's first day of Kindergarten

They still hold hands while walking to our elevator

Nana is a better climber than me!

LOOK at those eyes... i died