May 1st

I need something to write about. For the first time in a long time, i'm just riding the wave that is life. Right now, my "wave" is more like a dull ripple. And that's fantastic. Work is going well, nice and low intensity (for now). Kids are growing and being themselves (not sure if Nana will be sold yet... stay tuned)(oh, i'm not really serious, she is just two..), Family is calm, and keeping status quo. I'm good!

Tomorrow is my aunt's birthday. SHE CRAY. Every year she throws herself a large party in her tiny living room and invites EVERYONE (i mean it, she invites cashiers at stores she likes...). So i'm looking forward to some good ol' family time this weekend at the annual ho-down. (LOL she'd kill me if she read that. She's all about Motown. Detroit love, no ho-downs in her house!). After dinner (which is usually the first BBQ of the season), we move the furniture, and get to dancing! She puts on everything from the Temptations, to Whitney Houston, to M-J. all night long :) Can't wait!

FUNNY story, this morning  I asked my mother if my aunt is now a senior, since she's turning 55. But I said 65... (by accident I swear!) WWOPS! my mom almost hit me! (she's a year younger than my aunt. lol). I didn't mean it! Love you aunty!!

Birthday shoutouts

Today is my bestest girlie's brithday. She is 30 now (haha welcome to the club. It is great, except when it sucks. But you have a nice ass, and your hair is not grey. so ... YAY!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAMALAMA DING DONG!!!!
Here is she:

Mama

I counted yesterday, In a 5 minute time span, I heard "mama" 24 times. It's a 25 minute drive from my house to my parents house. Nana has also discovered a new and "fun" question. I hear this question almost as often as "mama" You know what the question was? WHAT'S THAT SOUND? My daughter asks me that ALL the time now.
Here is a sample conversation with my 2 year old:
Nana: Mama
Me: ...
Nana: Mama
Me: Yes baby
Nana: Mama, what's that sound?
Me: the car, we're driving
Nana: Mama
Me: yes
Nana: Mama Mama
Me:YES?
Nana: Mama, what's that sound?
Me: your sister singing
Nana: Mama, what's that sound?
Me: The radio
Nana: what's that sound mama?
 Me: Still the radio, do you want me to turn it up?
Nana:  yes mama up
Me: Ok
Nana: MAMA! what's that sound?
Me: Adele
Nana: I yike Madele
Nana: mama
Me: .....
Nana: MAMA, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama
Me: HOLY CRAP! WHAT?
Nana: I yuv you soooo much Mommy.

I love you too punk.

Man Gina

Lots of moms today use the proper terms for private parts. Growing up, my mom called them Tutus and pee pees. And once in a while she called it my molly (scars for life people!)
In my house, i've been calling it their peepee just out of lazyness. So this morning, as i'm washing Nana up, she said her grandma calls it her tutu. I said "THAT'S IT we're not using silly words anymore." So i told them. You have a vagina. Diva says "no, it's my pee pee" I said, "well that's just the silly word we use.the REAL word is vagina". So Nana in her cute chipmunk voice says "I have a gina" close enough. So Diva says "I have a ... what? A man gina?" again close enough. As we're leaving the house, I quizz them again. Diva knows the name for the male body part. So she says "Boys have a penis, and girls have a Tunis?" ahem.. let's try this again. In the corner nana is repeating "I have a Gina" over and over. Diva tries again, "OH is it a tuna!?" .... wow. I said " no honey. We'll try this again later ok?" So we get to my moms, and I ask in front of her, all three of them got it wrong. (yes, by three, i mean my mother. :p )

Being a mom is gross

I am a mom. I still have NO IDEA how I got here. My youngest daughter is 2... There are so many wonderful things that come with being a mom. There are also quite a few... minor annoyances.
Here's a short story for you all about just ONE of those annoyances:

Last week, I was at my mothers house with the girls. I had just finished changing Nana's diaper (NO she is not potty trained yet. Frick) and went to wash my hands. It's very dry here in Calgary. So i'm dry a lot. (not a random note... you'll see) After I wash my hands I always smell them (does that make me weird? GOOD!). This time, It didn't smell so clean. ew. So I washed them again. As I walked back to the kitchen, I smelled them again, and turned around and went to wash them again. I couldn't figure out why my hands STILL smelled like poo. SO GROSS! On the 4th round to the washroom, something made me stop in my tracks. A cold chill ran down my spine. and I ran into the washroom. ........... Since it's so dry here, I scratch. my face... I guess I must have scratched my forehead before washing my hands the first time, and also after EVERY time I'd washed my hands. Yes my friends, I had poo on my face.
The end

Predictions

Now, I'm no Nostradamus but I think I can predict a few things in the future. Let me look into my crystal... ball. (plastic works too...)

1. Diva will be JUST like me as she grows up. I was shy, and a bit neurotic even at the age of 4. So i'm sure she'll grow out of it in high school too, once the boys start to notice her....
2. Nana will be... well that's a hard one. She's just a copy cat right now. EVERYTHING her sister does, she does (Diva touches a wall, Nana touches a wall, Diva has a owie on her finger, Nanas finger is broken too, Diva has to pee, Nana has to pee... Nan is in diapers... )
3. Gas prices will go up this summer (....)
4. The newest tech gadget will be expensive and not much different from what we already have
5. There will be some bad movies this year
6. There will be some good movies this year
7. A celebrity will release a perfume
8. A celebrity will get a divorce
9. Lindsay Lohan will try to make a comeback
10. A blogger will be bored at work and make a very vague predictions list....

woah! I got one right already!

Let me tell you a story

Once upon a time, there was a young girl. she was very awkward and lanky. Her parents thought it would be good for her to establish some sort of ... routine and discipline. So those lovely parents enrolled her for Kung-Fu classes.
She hated going there. For one, there were BOYS there. Also, there were so many EFFING RULES!
anyway, one day they were being made to run across the room, and do what is called a "flying side kick" in front of everyone (yes, even the guy her age, with the ridiculously long eyelashes and Bambi-like eyes).. might be self explanatory, but it's when you run, and jump and kick at the same time. A-la 3 Ninjas:


So when it was her turn... she went up. And she bowed to the group (stupid rules) and turned and started to run. The pain hit her before anything else...
Then she saw the look on her sisters face...
And the fart came out with such power and pride. The group went silent. Waiting for something to happen, anything... the teacher to say something, the girl to react... anything. All held their breath (probably because the smell had started to make it's way to the audience)...

And she ran and hid in the bathroom until it was time to go home. Never to be seen again (in class... she didn't disappear or anything. Come on. Everyone has embarrassing fart stories)