Wednesday, 2 October 2013


I haven't written in 2 weeks! So sorry! haha yeah, like anyone out there cares...

I only took 2 weeks off from work, to help my mom out. So I'm back at work and my brain is back .. working. Sorta! Oh, and the title is only because the only thing I've done this whole time, is play candy crush. LOL

So how are you?

Diva had her school pics while we were taking a break from each other (me from you really). I will post a pic when I get them back from the school.

So... do you like stuff?

Wow, my brain is not really working is it?

I think I'll use this for research, for when I go for a phsyc evaluation.... (I'm not kidding. I go for one next Monday!)

You see, my brain goes for weeks, where I think very clearly and I'm happy, and I feel almost invincible (well not really, but I feel like I can handle life pretty good...), then all of a sudden, the ol brainy starts to fog over. And it's like a cloud over me, and I can't think straight and I get depressed and/or anxious (like scared to leave the house anxious). Then there's times like now... my brain has been very clear for the past few weeks but I've had depressing thoughts. Like I'll be in the shower, and I'll hear a noise and assume it's my family being attacked by zombies (Obviously...). But since I'm not depressed or anxious, I kind of shrug it off and think "well if they're gone, I'll deal with it after I get this shampoo out" instead of 3 weeks ago me, who would have actually turned off the water, getting sting-y shampoo in my eyes, and yell out to see if they can hear me.

Does that make me sound nuts? Maybe. Do I care? 3 weeks ago me, might have cared ... but today i'm calm on the inside (such a nice feeling!!! actually it's been 5 years since I've felt THIS calm for THIS long. YAY ME). So, the world is kinda rosy (even though it's really all black and tarnished and we are all totally  doomed)

I wonder though, what does it all mean? That I'm really fine? That I might end up locked up like Amanda Bynes? (God I hope not. I need my kids probably more than they need me) Is it a magical vitamin concoction? (I take roughly 6-8 different vitamins a day. ranging from multi vit, to biotin for hair growth)

I have no idea. But what I do know, is that over the course of typing this post, my brain stopped a fog over! and I think the words that came out of my head, made some sense. I think

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