Sex after kids. Part 1.

Oh hi there!
Today we will be talking about sex after kids. Thanks for bringing it up...

I used to have sex. Twice for sure
After having my first daughter, we will call her Diva, I was scared. That is some traumatizing... sorry. Nevermind.
So i'm pretty sure Diva broke my kitty. (Yes that's what I call it). I'm not a doctor, Nor do i play one on TV. It was pretty painful. But i'm better now, so stop talking about it already! (woah, reading that back, it sounds very disjointed. Just like me. CARRY ON)

So my second daughter, we will call her...... WOAH. lol ok, I have no idea what to call her. So i'll use her real life nickname, which is Nana. :) So Nana ... fixed me! i'm pretty sure she's going to be a doctor one day. I SWEAR she had tools and a glue gun up in there (not from my leaving it behind, that would be crazy.... )
ANYHOOOOO

So i bet you are wondering why sex after kids is even an issue. Aren't you? oh you're serious.

Well there's lots of new and fun things that can happen!
Like once, we were making the sex and milk squirted Fox in the face. Woops! I had no idea that your boobs were connected to your sex bone.

Another fun thing is kids learn to walk. Into your bedroom, at 3am. Just as you are also being woken up for a quiet quickie, someone is climbing up the foot of the bed. Just once, i'd like it to be an intruder, just so that I don't have to walk my 4 year old back to her room, buck booty naked.

HEY did you know that some beds (mine) squeak only on the left side (also mine) and only when you are really enjoying the moment? Yeah... me either.
So now we enjoy what we like to call "closet sex". As in, we do it mostly on the floor of our walk in closet.

p.s. we also high five afterwards.